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Opinions of Tuesday, 10 March 2020

Columnist: MyNigeria

Marginalised or just lazy: Today's women narrative

International women's day photo International women's day photo

So I have this lovely Nigerian-Canadian friend. We still communicate after she emigrated. I wished her International Women's Day, and I wanted to know how she was celebrating it. Turns out that she was indifferent about the whole matter. Meanwhile, a few others were turning Nigerian Twitter up and down because of ads pushed by some brands.

What is women's day?

Women's day is no longer women's day. It is a day of war, battle and smoking guns where women fight each other and every singular gender, blaming them for where they are. The vibe I got from the last women's day was very nauseating especially when Kiki Mordi pushed for boycott of Wema Bank over a very innocent message that actually made sense.

Here was what Wema Bank's message: "Today we celebrate the mothers who aren't raising patriarchial sons, the women bosses supporting female subordinates and the ladies whose voices we can no longer ignore."

That message was created by an obvious feminist. A non-genderized women's day message should read: Cheers to all the women in the world. We are enough." Two sentences and we are all happy. What I found funny was that several feminists were against both First Bank and Wema Bank's message because it was patriarchal.

I have read the messages several times. Especially the Wema Bank's message and found no wrong in it. In fact, it celebrated feminists more. Sometimes, I wonder whether feminism is an invitation to be delusional or lose common sense.

From what transpired last women's day on Nigeria's Twitter, I doubt if at all we should be celebrating women's day or if feminism should exist at all. The Each for Equal theme is commonly misplaced because no two persons are equal. Drop your sentiments aside and lets truly debate this. None of your fingers are equal, the same goes for individuals. We can't like the same clubs, we can't be on the same financial level, emotional or psychological level.

We are so different as a people that we can afford to have different genres of the same passion. In the same music, we have rap, commercial, lewd, inspirational, afro-pop, afro house, soul, gospel and so on. We are not Equal.

If we are to bring this narrative down to the fact that women are continually denied opportunities which is a fallacy to me; we are still not equal as a gender. A man cannot make a better receptionist, only a woman can. Same goes for a Secretary, same goes for marketing.

Women have better people skills than men. When next you are going on a business proposal, go with a lady. The next week, go with a man. You will see that your investor will ask after the lady. A man would more likely listen to a woman's proposition better than a man. You know why? We are not equal. That's why women are naturally relegated to hospitality, Owanbe's and the rest.

It's not marginalizing per se. A woman is just naturally better at organising things. My room and my sister's room are not the same. You know why? She is better than me in that aspect. But I am the better generator man and handyman. I don't ask my sister to change the generator plugs or wash the car, I know she would make a horrible job out of it. This is a fact, the more you keep sounding woke, you only keep complicating role play in gender.

But there is a flip side to things and here is where my strong argument lies. Women are naturally laid back. Their focus is on a happy home- it's not their fault that they are not aspirational- only 20% of them are. Many of them cannot mention three sentences without filling it with their lover, husband, boyfriend or future lover and that is why they settle at the end.

Most ladies would never become the class rep, Departmental President or take on really big roles, they always push men forward. I remember how I was cornered to head a position in my local church because the women just didn't want it. Where is your patriarchy now? Honestly, I wanted her to head the position but she pushed me forward.

Women don't put much effort at work. Most of them close 4pm on the dot. The man overworks himself till he is down with stoke or hypertension. Before the stroke kills him, he would have become a director. Most women think becoming great is a matter of doing little and getting away with much. Gender favours women, only to an extent.

So when people say women are not given much opportunities to thrive, I ask them: "Nobody is dragging the space with them." I think we baby women with women's day- call me a misogynist, anything you like. If you want to be CEO, sit your ass down and work for it! It's that simple.

So remind me, what's women's day again? Maybe this would be the last time I celebrate it. Nonetheless, I hail all women- no filter. I specifically hail all women who compete with men. It thrills men. Only a few women go the extra mile and to those special jewels, I hail.