When a woman wants to leave, she’ll leave even if you’re good to her

I’m one of the few people who knew what they wanted to become in life at a very tender age. While my friends wanted to be lawyers, engineers, and doctors, all I wanted to be was a fashion designer. My father had a sewing machine he never used. I started playing with it and somehow fell in love with the idea of becoming a tailor—creating something out of ugly pieces of cloth got me excited.

After SHS I went to a fashion school. Three years later, I graduated and started my own fashion business. Somewhere along the line, I went to Kumasi Polytechnic to do a diploma in fashion. I was already a pro when I went to the polytechnic. It was Kumasi Poly that I met Frimpomaa, a sister to one of my classmates. Whenever she had a wedding or special program to attend, I was the one who sewed her dresses. She loved my designs so much that she became my model.

We spent a lot of time together thinking about how the next dress should look on her and the colors to combine to achieve the perfect style. We were drawn to each other and every time we met, the chemistry was just right. I proposed to her and she said yes. From the day she said yes, she became my everything. She had a degree in accounting so she took over the accounting part of the business and started teaching me how to manage and grow my finances. Honestly, she did a very good job. One year later, she still didn’t have a job so I was paying her monthly for the work she was doing for me.

One day she said, “I want to go back to school and study for my master’s degree. That way, I can have a job easily and also contribute to the growth of our relationship.” It wasn’t a bad idea so I supported her in the best way I can. The fee wasn’t easy but I worked hard to be able to pay. Whenever she had the time, she came to the shop and helped with other things to make the work easier. Then she got pregnant. It’s something we didn’t plan but I was excited about it. She asked, “What are we going to do about it?” I said, “What do you mean? There’s nothing we can do about it. We are going to have a child.” She asked, “Have a child out of wedlock?” I said, “If you like, we can put something together quickly and get married before the bump begins to show.”

I thought she understood me. One morning she sent me a message, “I got rid of it. You know I couldn’t have it. I’m in school. We are not yet married. We need money for my fees. We can’t combine all these together and still have an easy life.” I was broken—shattered to pieces actually. “Frimpomaa, why would you do this? At least discuss it with me. There’s always a better way than what you’ve done.” She said, “Forgive me, but it’s the best decision for both of us at this moment of our lives.”

I couldn’t do so much because the harm had already been done. I pulled myself together, put my head in my work and produce designs that sold immediately they were done. Soon she was out of school. I was there at her graduation when her name was mentioned. Everyone stood up and gave her a standing ovation. I was proud of what she had done for herself. A week or so later, I asked her, “So what next?” She said, “Get a job and pay back everything you’ve invested in me.” I said, “Why would you think that way? Pay what back?” She answered, “I need to also bring something to the table. That’s what I mean.”

She attended an interview one day and came back with a job. She screamed excitedly, “I had the offer. They called me immediately after the interview. I did it.” She had a job with a multinational company. The pay was good and the perks that came with it were splendid. She had worked for six months. The company had given her a car. Everything was alright. ‘Let’s get married,” I said. She responded, “It’s too soon. I just started work. I can’t get pregnant immediately so let’s give it some time.”

She started seeing me less than she used to. She said, “You know these companies. It’s always busy out there.” When she didn’t pick my calls nor return them, her excuse was, “You know these companies. They won’t allow you to talk on the phone during company hours.” In the night when I tried to see her and she said no, her excuse was, ‘I’m too tired. I need to rest.”

For close to six months, I barely saw her.

One day she told me, “Things have changed, don’t you see it? We are not the same people we used to be and it would be hard for us to go back to be who we used to be because a lot has changed.” I asked her, “What do you mean?” She said, “Something has to be done.” I thought she was talking about working things out to make the relationship better again. If that was the case, then it wasn’t my fault. It was her who has to change.

One day she told me, “Clearly things aren’t working. We don’t need to force it. Let me leave you so you find someone who could make you happy.” I told her explicitly, “No you can’t leave me. I’m ok with how things are. It can be better but I’m not complaining.” She started doing things without telling me. She rented an apartment and moved there without my knowledge. It was her sister who told me. When I confronted her about it she said, “I don’t have to tell you everything that goes on in my life. It’s my life.”

“Eiii Frimpomaa…”

The next day I received a bank alert. “GHC25,000 had been credited to your account.” The money came from Frimpomaa. I called her to enquire. She said, “Maybe it’s because of the fees you paid that makes you think I owe you an explanation. I’ve paid you back. Now I owe you nothing.” I saw where everything was going so I waited for her to tell me it was over. But she couldn’t. She didn’t have the courage to tell me that. One day, I told her sister about everything that was happening between us and she said, “She has a boyfriend now. A Kenyan she met not too long ago. You don’t know this…she traveled to Kenya with him last month. I think they are far gone that’s why she’s doing all that.”

I got the message but I was waiting for her to tell me herself. Come what may, we needed closure and I thought she would be bold enough to come at me with the truth. She never did. She chose to ghost me instead. She never picked my calls and never returned them. She avoided me the way we all are trying to avoid corona. I stopped trying. Not too long afterward, she got engaged to the Kenyan. Though she never told me it was over, the best closure I could get was knowing she was engaged.

That Kenyan she fell for already has three kids with three different women. According to her sister, she didn’t know until they got engaged. They fought about it and sister has all intentions to back out of the relationship but she’s not able to do it because she’s scared of what people would say about her. That’s none of my business though. My business is making clothes, so I wake up each morning, put on a smiling face though things hurt, and go to work. People need to look their best and I’m that guy who makes it all possible. That’s my business.