Nollywood actor Deyemi Okanlawon has opened up on his journey through marriage and fatherhood, revealing that his experience as a father has been shaped by his desire to give his children the kind of emotional connection he misse d while growing up.

The actor, who has been married for over 13 years, described marriage as a learning process that continues to shape his understanding of responsibility, partnership and personal growth.

Speaking about his marital journey, Okanlawon said marriage goes beyond companionship, describing it as a school where individuals discover deeper lessons about themselves.

“Marriage is a school; it is where you learn about truly being a man. If you think as a single person, you think you know how things are, then wait until you get married,” he said.

The actor explained that his personal development before marriage played an important role in the kind of partner he became, noting that individuals should focus more on becoming better versions of themselves rather than simply searching for a spouse.


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According to him, his background in church and exposure to mentorship helped shape his understanding of relationships. Okanlawon revealed that his acting journey started through church drama, where he had the opportunity to learn under the guidance of Pastor Poju Oyemade.

“I was one of the fortunate few who had spent a lot of time in church. My acting career came from church drama, so I sat under the mentorship of Pastor Poju Oyemade,” he said.

He advised singles to focus on self-improvement, noting that personal growth often determines the quality of relationships people attract.

“You don’t go out seeking a spouse; you go out seeking the best version of yourself. When you work on being the best version of yourself, you attract that version of yourself, and this works for both men and women,” he added.

The actor further noted that people experiencing repeated challenges in their relationships should also examine themselves rather than blaming the dating environment.

“If you find out that you are attracting the wrong kind of people, don’t think that the dating pool is where the problem is; the problem is likely on the inside,” he said.

Speaking about fatherhood, Okanlawon expressed joy over raising his three sons, revealing that his first child is approaching 10 years old.

“My first son is about to be 10 years old and he is the first of three. Being a father of boys is the most extraordinary thing. They keep telling me that I need to have a girl, but I am okay. I will have a daughter through my sons,” he said.

The actor, however, shared that one of his biggest lessons as a father has been consciously creating a different emotional experience for his children.

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He revealed that he wants to provide the affection and emotional openness he wished he had experienced from his own father while growing up.

“For me, the primary thing I discovered as a father is that I really wanted to give my children the kind of fatherhood that I didn’t get. I don’t remember hugging my father many times. I don’t remember saying ‘I love you’ or hearing it back,” he said.

Okanlawon, however, was careful not to portray his father negatively, acknowledging that parenting styles are often influenced by the realities of different generations.

“This is not taking anything away from my father. He did what he knew how to do at the time he did it. We can’t go back to judge the world because of the way it was in the past, but we can only say that didn’t happen to me, but I wanted it, and I can have it with my children,” he said.