You are here: HomeEntertainment2021 04 12Article 430465

LifeStyle of Monday, 12 April 2021


How to deal when you no longer find your partner attractive

A couple A couple

Attraction is actually so important that even if one partner loses that feeling of being drawn to their partner physically, cerebrally or in any other possible form of attraction, the relationship might as well be done and dusted.

It goes to show you just how indispensable attraction is. So if you ever find yourself unattracted to a partner, you should know there is cause for alarm. And is such a situation, here are things you can do:

Don’t freak out

As troubling as the idea sounds or how crazy it feels if you find yourself in such a situation, it is important to realize that it is not something out of the ordinary and you are not the only person experiencing this. Loss of sexual attraction happens to most couples as life goes on, according to Dr Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author who tells SheKnows that decreased attraction "is very common as time passes in relationships."

Communicate with your partner

As awkward and tough as it may be, you should talk to your partner about this.

If your goal is to continue the relationship and stay together with him or her, then it is sensible to tell them about it in a kind, positive way.

For instance, physical attraction has been known to decrease if we feel our partner has let themselves go. It sends a message our partner no longer cares about looking nice for us.

If your lack of attraction is down to a prolonged lack of effort on your partner to, as Wizkid said, stay sexy for Daddy, then you should not hesitate to communicate this with him or her.

Dr Julie Gurner, a clinical psychologist, says that it could even be more than looks. "Attraction isn't simply about physical appearance," she tells SheKnows, adding that people evolve over the duration of relationships, which can lead to them being less attracted to their partners.

Gurner also says people lose their attraction for their partners when it comes to things like being unsupportive, as it causes us to see an ugly side of our partner and we lose attraction.

If any of these is the case, do not hesitate to have that needed talk with your partner.

The way forward

You can get the attraction back if you and your partner care enough to put in the work it takes to get there. If it means seeing a therapist or an expert or talking to a professional in order to get help, do it.

If the relationship means a lot to you both, you will find a way to bring attraction back and fix it.