In today’s social media age, many young Nigerians are chasing the soft life, a lifestyle that promotes ease, luxury, and enjoyment with little tolerance for stress or struggle. From brunches at upscale restaurants to designer fashion, the pressure to look like you’re living well is turning into a costly habit, JOSEPHINE OGUNDEJI writes

In a country battling high inflation, unstable incomes, and rising living costs, a growing number of young Nigerians are spending heavily to keep up appearances.

From weekend staycations to designer perfumes and fine dining, the pursuit of a “soft life”, a lifestyle defined by ease, enjoyment, and luxury, is fast becoming a silent threat to personal finances. However, beneath the filters and flashy posts lies a harsh truth: many are going broke trying to look rich.

The term “soft life” once signified freedom from hardship and intentional living. But for many now, it’s become a financial trap. Analysts say the obsession with appearances, fuelled by Instagram and TikTok, is encouraging young adults to spend recklessly, even when they can’t afford it.

An accountant, Mary Olaotan, said the soft life movement has distorted young people’s relationship with money.

“A lot of people are going broke trying to look successful. They spend beyond their means, not because they can afford it, but because they feel a constant pressure to appear like they’ve ‘made it’. Success has become something you perform for others instead of something you build quietly and sustainably. It’s now more about looking like you have money than actually having it, and that mindset is pushing people into unnecessary financial struggles. Instead of focusing on savings, investments, or building long-term wealth, they’re fixated on impressing people who don’t even contribute to their lives.

“They live beyond their means to maintain a lifestyle that only exists online. What you see on social media isn’t always real; people don’t show you the debt, the borrowing, or the financial stress that goes on behind those glamorous posts. But unfortunately, many young people use those online images as a standard for how they should live. So, they start booking luxury vacations, buying the latest gadgets, and renting apartments or cars just to keep up. It’s all smoke and mirrors, and what’s sad is that some people are financing this illusion with loans, salary advances, or even fraud. The internet has created a culture of pretence, and it’s distorting how people view money and success.

“What worries me most is that many of them don’t even realise they’re in a financial crisis until it’s too late. They’ve built their identity and self-worth around a lifestyle they can’t sustain, and by the time reality hits, when they can’t pay rent, when debts are due, or when income dries up, it’s often overwhelming. Some of them are afraid to scale down because they’ve made such a public display of their ‘soft life’, so they continue to spiral. “It’s a dangerous cycle, and until people start being honest with themselves about where they are financially and stop trying to impress others, this problem will keep growing,” she noted.

While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying life, experts warn that chasing status over stability is dangerous. For many, income cannot match the expensive tastes picked up from influencers, celebrities, and reality TV stars.

According to a recent report by SBM Intelligence, over 60 per cent of Nigerian youths say they rely on loans or credit to meet non-essential expenses, including outings, gadgets, and travel. Many of these are powered by digital loan apps, which come with high interest and hidden penalties.

This culture is also contributing to poor saving habits. A survey by PiggyVest found that nearly 70 per cent of users aged 18–35 struggle to save consistently, with many citing “lifestyle costs” as the main reason.

Emeka, a 29-year-old digital marketer in Abuja, admitted to taking a N1,000,000 loan just to celebrate his birthday at a rooftop lounge.

“I just didn’t want to feel left out. “My friends were doing it big, and I didn’t want to look broke,” he said.

Unfortunately, this mindset often leads to living pay cheque to pay cheque. With no emergency savings or investments, many young adults are financially vulnerable. One illness, job loss, or rent increase can wipe out their finances completely.

Experts advise setting financial priorities before lifestyle goals. “Build the life you want — but not at the cost of your future,” Onasanya said. “Start by saving at least 20% of your income, learn about investments, and avoid comparing your journey with others.”

At the end of the day, a soft life should mean peace of mind, not pretending to have wealth while silently sinking in debt.

The “soft life” movement, originally a celebration of choosing ease over stress, has evolved into a financially draining culture of curated lifestyles. On platforms like Instagram and TikTok, young people are constantly bombarded with images of brunches, designer outfits, luxury vacations, and influencer-worthy aesthetics.

While the intent was once to advocate for rest and intentional living, it has now mutated into a status contest, where many feel compelled to project affluence regardless of their true financial situation.

A fashion designer, Bolaji Aderibigbe, expressed concern over how consumerism is being disguised as aspiration.

“We now live in an age where people will spend N150,000 on an outfit for one event and not have N15,000 in savings. It’s not about dressing well anymore; it’s about outdressing the next person. The pressure to be seen is costing people more than they realise. As a designer, I see people who would rather owe tailors than re-wear clothes. It’s dangerous.

“What’s particularly troubling is that this obsession with a ‘soft life’ creates the illusion that wealth is instantly accessible, no need for hard work, just vibes. Many young people now view success as something that should come quickly and visibly, rather than something built gradually. Financial literacy takes a backseat to online validation, and this has real consequences: rising credit card debt, low savings rates, and poor investment culture among millennials and Gen Z. The façade may look polished online, but offline, many are navigating silent money struggles.

“More so, the culture discourages transparency. Admitting you’re on a budget, living modestly, or choosing delayed gratification is often frowned upon. There’s little room for honest conversations about financial discipline or setbacks. Instead, people feel the need to perform wealth, often leading to burnout, anxiety, or worse, resorting to unethical means to maintain a persona. “The soft life may appear desirable, but in many cases, it’s a fragile illusion funded by stress, borrowing, and self-denial,” she said.

Here are five comprehensive steps to help young people tame the pressure of the “soft life” culture and build a healthier relationship with money:

Redefine personal success: In today’s digital age, the definition of success has become dangerously shallow. Success is no longer measured by peace of mind, character, or long-term progress; it is now equated with aesthetic affluence: curated vacations, luxury brands, and expensive experiences broadcast online. For many young people, especially in urban centres, this redefinition has created immense pressure to look successful before actually becoming successful. But to truly thrive, it is critical to reframe success on your own terms.

That means disconnecting self-worth from social status or material markers. True success might look like living within your means, paying off debt, investing in your skills, or even having time to rest.

These aren’t flashy accomplishments, but they are sustainable ones. When you stop chasing other people’s timelines and choose your own definition of success, you begin to live more intentionally and more freely.

Practice financial discipline: The soft life movement often glamorises ease and enjoyment without showing the financial strain it imposes on those struggling to keep up. This leads to lifestyle inflation, where people increase their spending as soon as they earn more or, worse, spend money they don’t even have. The antidote is financial discipline: the ability to tell your money where to go, instead of wondering where it went. It starts with awareness, understanding what you earn, what you owe, and what you value. From there, it’s about making daily choices that align with your long-term goals rather than instant gratification. Discipline isn’t about denial; it’s about self-control. When you master your finances, you can enjoy the real “soft life”, one where you are not living in quiet panic under the weight of debt or pretence. It’s less glamorous, but far more empowering.

Curate digital influence: The internet is no longer just a source of entertainment, it is now a blueprint for how many live. Unfortunately, that blueprint is often filled with unrealistic, heavily edited portrayals of life. Young people spend hours consuming content that celebrates extravagance, often without context or accountability. This constant exposure creates a skewed sense of normalcy, leading individuals to believe they’re underachieving if they aren’t matching those standards. That’s why it’s important to be intentional about your digital diet. If what you’re watching or scrolling through triggers feelings of inadequacy or makes you feel like you’re falling behind, it’s time to detox. Replace these sources with ones that promote authenticity, financial literacy, and grounded living. Social media should inspire you, not pressure you. The more conscious you are of what you consume, the easier it becomes to detach from the need to impress people who barely know you.

Embrace real community: There’s an unspoken code in today’s culture that discourages financial honesty. People are praised for keeping up appearances, not for saying, “I’m saving,” or “I can’t afford that right now.” But the truth is, community matters, and the right community can either drain you or build you up. Surrounding yourself with friends who value authenticity over image makes a huge difference. These are the people who won’t judge you for re-wearing clothes, who won’t pressure you into expensive outings, and who understand that growth looks different for everyone. In such circles, there’s space to be honest about struggles, to share goals, and to celebrate progress without performance. It’s not enough to have followers; you need support systems. When you feel safe being your full self, financially, emotionally, and socially, the pressure to pretend fades away.

Pursue financial literacy: To resist the lure of the soft life illusion, knowledge is key. Many young people fall into money traps simply because they were never taught how money works. Without financial education, it’s easy to assume that wealth is synonymous with what you see instead of what you build. But understanding concepts like budgeting, saving, investing, credit management, and income diversification equips you to make informed choices. It gives you the confidence to delay gratification, to say no when necessary, and to prepare for the future with intention. Financial literacy also helps you identify scams, avoid predatory loans, and spot the difference between healthy spending and performative consumption. When you become literate in money matters, you’re no longer easily influenced by trends, because you know better. Over time, you also begin to do better and eventually live better, sustainably and on your own terms.

In conclusion, the pressure to live the “soft life” has led many young people into a cycle of unrealistic expectations, performative spending, and financial strain. But true freedom doesn’t come from appearances; it comes from clarity, control, and contentment. By redefining success, practising discipline, curating healthy influences, building honest communities, and learning how money works, young people can escape the trap of validation-driven living.

In the end, the real soft life is one where you’re not faking ease; you’re actually living it.