I asked her to resign from work so we could get married

I was in the office with my colleague when HR brought this newly employed lady to our office. The HR said, “Her name is Cynthia, she joined the company today and she’s going to share an office space with you guys.” I smiled and said, “Welcome to our office, Cynthia. Just feel free, we don’t bite.” She smiled and said, “Nice meeting you guys.”

She sat quietly at the corner of the office, shrinking and trying hard not to be seen. Maybe, being the only lady in the midst of two men made her shy. During the lunch break, my colleague asked her to join us for lunch. She followed. We had lunch and talked about where she was coming from and the experience she was bringing on board. She said, “I completed the university not too long ago. This is my first employment.” My colleague said, “Then you’ll need a lot of help and guidance.” She responded, “Obviously. It’s my first time.” My colleague then told her, “If you face any challenge with your job, ask Amankwa. He once handled your position so he knows a lot.” She looked at me and asked, “Amankwa, I hope that wouldn’t be a problem.” I said, “Not at all. You can always count on me.”

That was where our friendship began. She came to my corner often to ask for guidance. Guiding her turned into a long conversation that never ended. I got to know a lot about her and she also asked a lot of questions about me. Two months later, the colleague we shared an office with resigned so we were the only people left in the office. We could talk about anything freely without thinking about a third person hearing us. We said a lot of silly things and made a lot of crazy jokes.

As fate would have it, we both fell in love with each other, and by the time we realized, we were in a serious relationship. She called me honey and I called her Babee. After work each day, I will drive her to her house before I continued to my house. That was the time I established an acquittance with her dad and mom. They came to expect me every evening and I never disappointed them.

At some point in our relationship, we had a conversation about the company policy that did not allow two colleagues in the same department to get married. I asked her, “Are you aware the company does not allow colleagues to get married?” She was shocked. She asked, “Are you serious? I said, “It looks like you didn’t read the workers’ handbook. Go back and read it. It’s written somewhere in the pages.” She asked, “So it means we can’t get married if we want to?” I told her, “We can get married only if one of us is ready to resign.” She said, “Then that’s not an issue at all. I thought they’ll sack both of us.”

That’s where we ended that conversation. We didn’t go any further. Maybe, we didn’t believe our relationship will travel the mile to the aisle. Or we knew we will get there but simply didn’t talk about it because we believed loved would find a way. We had dated for over a year then. A lot of people in the company had gotten a hint of it. There were others who actually knew we were dating but it wasn’t official so they couldn’t do anything to us.

Four weeks ago, we found out that she was pregnant. We were in the office when she came to throw the testing kit on me. She said, “Amankwa, we are in trouble. Look at the two lines. What color are they?” I asked, “Whose test kit is this?” She said, “What kind of question is that? Didn’t I tell you two days ago that my period has delayed? I did a test this morning and that’s the result.”

I wanted to be happy but I didn’t know how she felt about it so I asked, “You mean you’re pregnant? She responded, “I mean you’ve impregnated me.” She looked confused but I was happy on the inside. She asked me, “What are we going to do?” I told her, “You’re the woman. You tell me what we should do.” She said, “If you leave the decision solely in my hands, I’ll ask us to give birth.” I said, “So be it. After all, we are not kids? We can handle this” She asked, “What then are we going to tell HR?”

That was the awakening call. If we were going to keep it then one of us should be ready to lose his/her job. I told her, “Let’s use this opportunity to swallow the bitter pill once and for all. The pregnancy is still young. Work for the next two months and then resign.” She laughed and asked me, “Who should resign? I thought you were the man. Men have to swallow the bitter pill so you do it.” I asked, “Are you serious about what you’re saying?” She said, “Why should I be the one to resign? It shouldn’t always be the woman. I stayed home for two years before getting this job. I can’t let it go just like that.”

I told her, “Let’s give it a rest. When we close and we are going home we’ll continue the discussion. It seems you don’t know what is at stake.” She said, “We are in this together. I don’t have to suffer a job loss just because of love.”

While in the car going home, “I told her, “I’ve been working here in the last six years. My salary is way bigger than yours. I’m in a position to earn more bonuses than you. Again, I’m at a level I can be promoted very easily. When we put all these together, it means I can take care of you when you resign. And I promise you, I’ll do all I can to make you comfortable until you get a new job. Just trust me.” She was quiet for a while. She said, “Give me some time to think about it.” I said, “You can have all the time.”

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, she didn’t say anything about it. On Thursday I asked her, “Have you decided on anything?” She said, “Give me up to the end of the weekend. I’m discussing things with my parents.” I asked, “Do you need me to talk to them too?” She said, “Allow me. I’m old enough to handle them.”

On Saturday I called to tell her I was coming over. When I got there, she was lying on the sofa sleeping. She didn’t look Ok. I asked, “What is the matter with you.” She said, “I got rid of it. I need this job than anything. I need it more than marriage. I need it to survive.” I was shocked to the marrow. I asked her, “So why didn’t you tell me before doing it?” She said, “If I told you, would you have said yes to me? Everything is happening too fast. We look unprepared. Let’s try again, this time with a clearer vision.”

“Cynthia, I thought I gave you enough reasons. I thought I gave you enough promises. Why would you do that and not talk to me about it first? If you love the job this much then what are you doing with me?”

I left her house with a clearer vision that I wasn’t going to continue the relationship again. It was over the moment I left. She called on Sunday and I told her point-blank that we were done. If we can’t compromise when we say we love each other, then clearly, we are wasting our time. Her father called to ask me to forgive her. He didn’t know the details of our issue so I could pardon him.

The two of us are in the same office now but don’t talk to each other. I’m planning to ask for a change of office citing unconducive working environment as the reason. I don’t want to see her again. I don’t want to be closer to her to even give her the chance to ask me questions. Some days ago, she accused me of not loving her enough. She said, “If you did love me the way I love you, you would have understood me.” I played deaf to what she said. The two of us don’t have a future and I can’t continue wasting my time with her.