Talk show host Teju Oyelakin, widely recognised as Teju Babyface, has advised men against confessing to their wives or partners if they have cheated, claiming such admissions tend to cause more harm than good.

In a recent YouTube video posted on Monday, the comedian stated that revealing infidelity, especially by men, is one of the most disastrous and damaging actions a person can commit in a marriage.

“If you cheat on your wife or your husband, but especially your wife — especially men — if you cheat on your wife, don’t tell her. Don’t confess. Do not ever do it,” he said.

“It is one of the most catastrophic and damaging things you can ever do in your life.”

Teju explained that people often misinterpret the concept of confession, noting that many quote the Bible to justify confessing to their partners. He stressed that confession of sin is meant to be to God, not to humans.

“People will even quote the Bible to support the idea of confession. They will say that if we confess and repent, then our sins are forgiven,” he said.

“Excuse me, that is to God and from God, not to man. It is confession to God, not to man. Do not do it.”

He stated that people who admit to cheating often fool themselves into thinking they're being truthful. In truth, they're usually just trying to manipulate the situation for their own benefit.

“You are not being honest; you are being manipulative. What you’re really doing is shedding the weight of your guilt, not helping your spouse. You’re looking for someone else to carry the burden of your wrongdoing,” he explained.

Teju opened up about a past personal mistake, revealing that prior to marriage, he had been unfaithful in a significant relationship. He confessed that this decision, which he now regrets, was driven less by genuine remorse and more by an unconscious desire to undermine the relationship from within.

“I can see clearly now that I confessed because I wanted out of the relationship,” he said.

“If I cheated and then confessed, and she left by herself, I could justify it to myself. That was not honesty — that was cowardice.”

The comedian further argued that confessions rarely bring healing to a relationship, as they often deepen the emotional wounds of the betrayed partner and permanently alter trust.

“There is no benefit to your spouse when you confess. All the benefits are yours. What you give them is pain, heartache, and misery,” he stated.

Teju Babyface also cited examples of people who confessed to infidelity only to live with regret for years, saying some marriages never recover from the damage caused by such revelations.

“I have a friend who cheated on his wife 15 years ago, confessed in their first year of marriage, and to this day she still holds it over his head. He’s still suffering from that confession,” he shared.

He stressed that genuine repentance requires behavioural change rather than just confession, encouraging men to stop cheating instead of seeking emotional relief through confession.

“If you feel bad about cheating, stop cheating. If you still feel guilty, confess to God or a counsellor, not your wife. Don’t ever put that weight on her. That’s not honesty; that’s cruelty,” Teju said.

He concluded by differentiating between a man who errs and one who is a chronic cheater.

“The fact that you cheated once doesn’t make you a cheater,” he noted.

“A cheater is someone who does it repeatedly. But if you stumbled once, learn from it and change your actions, don’t destroy your home in the name of confession.”

ASA